


Moth to a Flame

by Queenietae6789



Category: BLACKPINK, bts
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24728080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenietae6789/pseuds/Queenietae6789
Relationships: Taennie - Relationship
Kudos: 10





	1. The List

The smoke spilled from the tip of Jennie's burned out cigarette, curling and twisting in wisps as the grey was whipped up into the air. She inhaled deeply, sucking hard on the final dregs of the fag before the time came to throw it away. The heavy school bag sat at her feet like an obedient dog, waiting to be picked up and used. She had dismissed her mandatory navy blazer in the wash in her rush to get out the door this morning. Instead she chose to sit in a damp shirt, her blue flannel skirt, mismatched socks and grubby black plimsoles. I hadn't bothered to shower this morning either, partly because the bathroom was occupied by the other residents of the council house she lived in. Turns out she had been late regardless, and in defiance, she had decided to have a cheeky smoke outside in the sun, perched on one of the outdoor lunch benches. Students and teachers milled about inside the building, but as far as Jennie knew, she was alone in the Quad, and that was the way that she liked it.   
Jennie's greasy dark hair hung down around her face in loose curls, blowing across her makeupless cheeks as the breeze picked up. She whipped out her phone. It was 9:58. Forty minutes late for her first class. Stubbing out hersmoke on the surface of the bench, she hauled the school bag up onto her lap and searched around inside it for the only eyeliner pencil she owned. Shifting books and copies to the side in her search, the sound of paper slapping against her leg made her stop and look down. A lined sheet of paper had gotten trapped underneath the sole of her shoe, and in the breeze it had flipped up against her exposed calf. Shoving her bag to the side, Jennie reached down and picked it up. Names had been scrawled across the lines in messy hand, and a date that she couldn't read was written in the top corner. Numbers travelled down the margin in studied order. 1,2,3,4. Jennie frowned. Identities that she didn't recognise stared back at her. Half the names at the top and middle of the crumpled sheet had been crossed off the list in harsh, aggressive marks. Turning the page over to the other side, she saw more of the same, except down at the very bottom, written in blue ink was her own name. Jennie's mouth dropped open in surprise. Sure enough, Jennie Ruby Jane, had been added to the list of unknown identities, much to her shock and dismay. She felt sick, and an unsettling sensation reared it's ugly head deep inside her gut. The atmosphere around the school changed suddenly, and Jennie had the strangest feeling that she was being watched. Glancing over her shoulder warily, she saw nothing except the grassy Quad, and the school gates in the distance. Suddenly freaked out, she contemplated getting up and leaving the grounds, choosing to skip the rest of her classes instead of facing up to whatever lay in store. The rough sheet of paper in her hand had a foreboding miasma about it, and for a minute, Jennie fully believed that it had been cursed or bound by some sort of spell. Why was her name the only one that hadn't been written in the same black ink as the others? What made hers stick out like a sore thumb? Jennie folded it in half and stuffed it into the depths of her school bag, putting it out of her mind for the time being.   
From inside the building, the bell tolled, and Jennie knew that the first class had been summoned to a close. She stood up and lifted my bag onto her shoulder, staggering beneath it's weight. Shaking the panic of this mysterious list out of her head, she crossed the cobbled Quad and made her way into the building via the gym entrance. As soon as she crossed the threshold, the skies opened and a torrential rain lashed down from the heavens. Her heart leaped into my mouth at the sound and sight. Turning around, she gazed out into the monsoon, looking out for something that wasn't quite there. She saw nothing out of the ordinary, and that simple fact disturbed her greatly. Any normal person would have put the sudden change in weather down to a coincidence, but Jennieknew better. This was no coincidence, of that she was sure. 

Jennie slipped into English class without a sound, dropping into the closest seat in meditated silence. Kicking her bag under the desk she leaned forwards, trying to appear as calm and collected as best she could, her mind battling with all sorts of undecipherable and unanswered questions and queries about the scary sheet of paper that remained in the bottom of her backpack. The rest of Jennie's peers chatted about their weekends and the activities they got involved in during the summer holidays. She blocked out the noise, finding it irritating and unnecessary. She knew she'd never be included in those pointless conversations because she didn't share the wonders and delight of packing up and heading off on a sun holiday for two whole weeks during the hot summer months of June and July. She lived in a ramshackle and frankly, quite crowded council house with seven other people. She also didn't work and had no spare cash to book these fancy holidays. Her social worker, Zoe McMahon ensured that her rent was paid on time and that she attended school for six years and came away with a decent enough report card and a college application. Jennie was already eighteen years of age, and in her final year of school, but she was certainly not prepared for nine months of tough study and work that would all go into these end of year exams, and determine her unforseeable future. She hadn't a clue what she wanted to do with her life and wasn't about to think about it at this precise moment in time either.   
At 10:15, her Japanese teacher came swanning into the room, folders and thick notepads wedged underneath his arm. His hair stuck out on end, and his circular rimmed spectacles fogged up immensely in the heated space. He placed his   
folders and other items on the large mahogany desk before straightening up and addressing the now quiet class with a chirpy, "Good morning". 

As soon as the bell rang to signal the end of class, Jennie grabbed her bag and upped from the chair, departing the room as quickly as she could. Without hesitation she marched down the hall and disappeared into the bathroom, checking to see if all the cubicles were vacant before she went ahead with her last minute plan. When the coast became clear, she yanked the unwanted sheet of paper out from the bottom of her bag and stepped inside a cubicle. She closed and locked the door before flinging the bag to the ground and proceeding to rip the paper to shreds, tearing it this way and that, pulling the corners apart with rigid fingers, anxiously trying to destroy as much of it as possible. She tossed the tiny pieces into the toilet bowl, and pushed down on the handle to flush the contents away. The flush mechanism groaned in protest, as the water sprayed up around the seat and bowl once it was put to it's designed use. She waited for the mechanism to cease, before peering into the bowl to see if the paper was gone. Her heart sank when I saw that the bits of paper remained floating in the water. The fuck? She flushed again, but the outcome was no different.   
Just then, the bathroom door come swinging open, followed by the scuffling of rubber shoe soles squeaking on the wet tiles. Jennie froze.  
'Yo. Jennie. You in here?"  
Jennie recognised the voice immediately. It was her close friend and soon to be girlfriend, Chaeyoung Park. She exhaled a sigh of relief.  
'Hey, Chae ", Jennie called back. 'I'll be out in a second. I'm on my period and it got a little messy", she lied, shuffling around the cubicle for authenticity purposes. She could hear Chaeyoung sigh loudly.   
'You really need to go to the doctor and get yourself checked out, girl. This is your second period in one month. I don't think that's healthy".  
Jennie cracked a smile at her words.   
'Yeah. Maybe I should. You're probably right".  
Chaeyoung laughed.   
'You know I am. I always give the best advice".  
Jennie flushed the toilet for the third time, not bothering to stop and see whether the paper was gone or not, and emerged out into the bathroom. Chaeyoung was standing at the sink, touching up her makeup. She was leaning over the basin, body arching up so that she could reach the height she wanted to. Her skirt, as short as it was, rode up a little higher on her thighs. Jennie blushed when she realised that she had been staring. Chaeyoung looked at her in the mirror with knitted brows.   
'You do look super pale, Jen. Here, I brought some makeup with me. You can use some if you want".  
'No thanks. I couldn't be bothered".  
Chaeyoung shrugged.   
'Fine. I still think you're beautiful with or without makeup"  
She reached up then and tightened her high ponytail, light blonde strands pulling taut at the back of her head. Loose curls fell down around her cheeks, and Jennie longed to kiss her. She washed her hands, desperate to scrub the nasty sensation of the letter off her skin. Chaeyoung dabbed powder onto her cheeks. Jennie dried her hands and idled at the door, not wanting to leave Chaeyoung in the bathroom on her own. Chaeyoung packed up her accoutrements with a flourish, and then followed Jennie out of the bathroom and down the hall, lacing her fingers through hers for good measure.   
"What are you doing after school?" Chaeyoung asked as they halted at her locker. Jennie shifted next to her, feeling the hair stand up on the back of her neck, and a frustration build inside her at the unknown reason behind it. Chaeyoung tossed books into her locker with a noisy clang.   
"Earth to Jen?", she pushed.   
"Oh, eh I'm going to visit Jisoo in the hospital".  
"You're not going to see Zoe today, no?".  
"Eh yeah I am, but I'll be visiting Jisoo afterwards".  
Chaeyoung cocked an eyebrow.   
"You ok, Jen?"  
"Yeah of course", Jennie replied, following Chaeyoung towards the canteen. "Why'd you ask?"  
"You just seem off".  
"I'm tired, that's all".   
Jennie hated lying to Chaeyoung, she despised it even.   
"Will you come visit me after you see Jisoo then?" Chaeyoung asked, stepping into the queue with tray in hand.   
Jennie flashed her friend a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Of course".


	2. Bad Habits

The ticking of the clock pulled Jennie out of the conversation. The water in the glass on the table trembled as she braced her foot against the leg of the furniture, and her eyes were glued to it. Her school shirt felt tight around her chest, and she could feel a light sweat pool around her collar. The room smelled of lavender and freshly printed paper. Jennie crossed her legs, and then uncrossed them. Her mind wandered to that of the homework she'd have to face into once she got to Chaeyoung's house later on. And the list. That fucking list.  
"Jennie?"  
Jennie dragged her tired eyes towards the woman sitting in front of her. Her social worker, Zoe beamed back at her, pen poised over the clipboard in her lap. Jennie scowled at Zoe's mismatched earrings.  
"You seemed distracted there for a second", Zoe said through a forced smile. Jennie yawned.  
"Yeah I'm just tired".  
"Long day at school?"  
"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm stressed out".  
Zoe scribbled something onto her clipboard.  
"Stressed about what?"  
"Final exams"  
"And how has school been going for you?".  
"Fine" Jennie scoffed, picking at the hem of her pleated skirt, running the fabric over her blunt fingernails as she did so. She was acutely aware of the sound of Zoe's pen scraping against the paper.  
"Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?"  
Jennie shook her head. She rubbed the corner of her eyes roughly, watching the black spots appear in her peripheral.  
"Are you sleeping properly, Jennie?"  
Jennie swallowed the frustration that built up inside her gut at the unwanted questions.  
"No, not really".  
"Why do you think that is".  
Jennie yawned. "Too stressed".  
"And what about relationships?"  
"Don't have any".  
"Is having one important to you?".  
Jennie glanced up at the clock a second time. The session ended in five minutes, much to her relief. Sensing her hesitation, Zoe placed her clipboard on the coffee table as the session came to an end.  
"We'll leave it there for today".  
Jennie got to her feet and swung her bag onto her shoulder.  
"Thanks, Zoe", she mumbled, hiding her face behind her long dark curls. She felt anxious all of a sudden.  
"No problem Jennie", Zoe said, ushering her towards the exit. "See you next week".  
"See you".  
It was raining when Jennie stepped out onto the street. Vehicles whizzed past her as the traffic grew heavy. Sidestepping a puddle, Jennie ducked under a shop awning and lit a soggy cigarette. She dreaded going to see Jisoo, but at the same time she knew she needed to talk to her about the state of their on/off relationship. Flicking ash off her cigarette, she pushed her way through the crowd and onto an oncoming bus.

Jennie sidled into Jisoo’s hospital room, careful to not make a sound. The curtain was drawn, so she dropped into a plastic chair and kicked her bag down at her feet. The smell of disinfectant and illness made her feel unwell. Her stomach growled. One of the Hesse’s scraped the curtain back to reveal a sickly Jisoo lying propped up in the bed, wires snaking their way across her body like worms, stopping in the back of a large vitals monitor at the side of the bed. Jisoo stirred when she clocked Jennie sitting in the corner. The nurse scowled when she saw Jennie.  
“Visiting times are over”.  
“I’ll be quick”.  
Slotting a clipboard into the pocket at the end of Jisoo’s bed, the nurse left the room, and Jennie got up and stood near Jisoo, grimacing at the state she was in. Her dark hair had been shaved to allow for a thick bandage to sit around her forehead, and her complexion was pallid, bordering on ghostly white. Jennie touched her hand. It was taciturn.  
“Why are you here, Jen?” Jisoo croaked.  
“I came to see how you are”.  
Jisoo slid two sunken eyes in Jennie’s direction.  
“Why?”.  
“What do you mean, why?”.  
“You’re dating Chaeyoung now, so why am I still important to you?”.  
Jennie could hear the hurt in Jisoo’s voice.  
“Because we had something before Chae, and unlike you I can’t just forget about it”.  
“I didn’t forget about it”, Jisoo snapped, voice breaking in a strangled rasp.  
Jennie picked at her fingernails, lost for words. Jisoo shifted in the bed beside her.  
“You just wanted to move on the second I got sick”.  
“That’s not true”, Jennie replied.  
“Yes it is”.  
Jennie opened her mouth to speak but Jisoo interrupted. “You’re only here now because you feel guilty”.  
“Not true”.  
“You left me for her the day I had my stroke and you know it, Jen”.  
Jennie felt tears well in her eyes. “I’m here because I want to be, because I don’t want you to die on me”.  
Jisoo scoffed, unimpressed. “Go fuck yourself, Jennie”.  
“Jisoo, I-“.  
“Get out”, Jisoo cried. “I don’t want to see you again”.

Jennie slipped down a side road as dusk fell, keeping close to the lit areas as the town she resided in wasn’t the safest place to be at night. Chaeyoung lived in a nice estate, and as Jennie crossed the green into the district she could see the residents of the estate scowls at her scruffy appearance. Chaeyoung answered the door after the second knock. Her mother was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled delicious.  
“You hungry?” Chaeyoung asked, blonde ponytail bouncing as she headed into the kitchen. Jennie remained in the foyer of the mansion house. A chandelier glinted above her, and for a brief moment she imagined it coming crashing down on top of her.  
“Yeah”.  
Chaeyoung returned a few minutes later with two steaming bowls of kimchi jjigae pressed against her chest. Jennie followed her girlfriend up the winding staircase and into her bedroom. She took the bowl of food from Chaeyoung’s hands and wolfed into it, not realising just how hungry she was until a hot meal became an option. She dropped down into Chaeyoung’s desk chair.  
“How’s Jisoo?” Chaeyoung asked.  
“Fine”.  
“Is she recovering?”.  
“I think so”.  
Chaeyoung sat opposite her on the bed. They ate in comfortable silence.  
“So, I wanted to talk to you about this for a while now but I never got the chance”, Chaeyoung mumbled.  
Jennie called bullshit on that but she didn’t say anything.  
“What’s up?”  
“I don’t want you to see Jisoo anymore”.  
Jennie shot Chaeyoung a hard look. Chaeyoung gkanced back at her, and when she read Jennie’s expression she shrugged, letting her chopsticks clatter into her bowl nonchalantly.  
“She’s sick, Chae”, Jennie said.  
“Yes I know, but I don’t like the idea of your ex still being in the picture”.  
Jennie scoffed.  
“It’s a reasonable request, Jen”.  
“Is it because you’re jealous?”  
“No, but like she can’t be in the picture if we are to move on and have a relationship”.  
“She could die, Chae”.  
“I know, and that’s sad, but I want something with you Jennie and I’m not comfortable with Jisoo still having a place in your life”.  
“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t see”.  
“That’s not what I’m saying, I’m asking you to respect me and my wishes, that’s all”.  
Glimpsing at the girl sitting on the bed, Jennie felt a stab of guilt at Chaeyoung’s hurt expression.  
“Jisoo wants nothing to do with me anyway, so you don’t need to worry”.  
Chaeyoung let out a gasp. “Oh really?”  
“Yeah”.  
“I’m sorry”.  
“Don’t be”.  
“Come sit”.  
Jennie joined Chaeyoung on the divan, and after a pause, she went in for a kiss. Chaeyoung’s lips were so soft, yet firm, and Jennie loved the sensation her tongue wrestling against her own made her feel. Her panties warmed as the kissing escalated into a heated encounter, and with Chaeyoung’s consent, they removed their clothing at a slow pace. Jennie twirled her tongue around Chaeyoung’s erect nipples, before bringing her mouth to hers once again. Chaeyoung moaned softly as Jennie did the rounds, trailing kisses down her perfect midriff before halting with agonising temptation at the waistband of Chaeyoung’s panties.  
“Please”. Chaeyoung whimpered. Jennie shivered at the soft mewls that emanated from her girlfriend’s lips, and without hesitation she ran her thumb across the warm mound, resulting in more whimpers from the top of the bed. A quick knock on the door made the intimate encounter come to an abrupt end. Chaeyoung called out at the visitor and Jennie rolled her eyes at the untimely interruption.  
“Chaeyoung”. It was her mother. “It’s time for Jennie to go now”.


	3. Playing for Keeps

"We'll have to be quick", Jennie whispered, ushering an excited Chaeyoung into a vacant classroom, dodging the rest of their peers as they slipped into the unused space, giggling in hushed delight as they let the door close silently behind them. Chaeyoung approached an empty desk down the back of the room, and Jennie followed. Their lips met in a hot exchange of saliva and warm breath, tongues massaging one another's, clashing softly as the kiss picked up the pace. Jennie's hand slipped under Chaeyoung's skirt and inside her panties without hesitation. Chaeyoung was moist, a warm damp seeping onto Jennie's fingertips the longer the kiss went on. Chaeyoung moaned against Jennie's lips, begging her to slide a finger in, to stimulate her orgasm. Jennie complied, pushing both index and middle fingers inside Chaeyoung's warm sex. Chaeyoung exhaled deeply into Jennie's mouth and gathering a speed steady enough to make Chaeyoung saturate her underwear, Jennie proceeded to massage her clit with her thumb. Achieving maximum pleasure Chaeyoung writhed on the table, throwing her legs wide to accommodate Jennie as best she could. Jennie nipped playfully on Chaeyoung's bottom lip, stifling the gentle moans that seems to escape her lips as her orgasm began to build. Jennie could feel her walls clench around her fingers, and Jennie couldn't help the smirk that cracked the corner of her mouth as Chaeyoung's hips ground down towards her palm.   
"Come for me, Chae", Jennie whispered. The response was a shrill mewl in her ear, and it only spurred Jennie on. Tugging Chaeyoung's hair firmly, Jennie angled her neck back to allow her to plunge her tongue deeper into her throat, enveloping Chaeyoung's mouth in a sensual kiss, an exploration of crevices they didn't know they had. Jennie could feel Chaeyoung begin to achieve climax once she sped up the pace, keen to make her girlfriend have an orgasm before the bell for first class rang. Chaeyoung gripped the fabric of Jennie's blazer with her long nails as her orgasm reached its peak. With a shudder, Chaeyoung exploded onto Jennie's fingers, a feat which brought their sexual escapade to an abrupt halt, just as the bell screamed through the intercom and the rest of their peers began to filter into the classroom, forcing both Jennie and Chaeyoung to drop into their seats without another word. 

The bus splashed to a halt at the vacant stop and Jennie had to dodge the puddle of muddy water that lapped up over the side of the curb as the vehicle pulled in, not wanting to get her socks wet for the long journey she had home. She stepped on and took a seat downstairs near the front, dropping down onto it with an exaggerated sigh. God, she was tired. The bus was relatively empty, save for an older man who sat directly opposite her and a younger looking guy clad in a hoodie and dark clothing. Plugging her earphones in she watched the surroundings change as the bus navigated it's way through the town and out onto the busy motorway. A sudden jolt startled Jennie and she glanced towards the driver, who had halted abruptly as they came up against a stream of traffic, much to Jennie's dismay. The music in her ears stopped mid song and glancing down at her phone she grimaced when she saw Zoe's name dance across it. As Jennie opened the message, another text from Chaeyoung came in, but Jennie swiped it away, not wanting to engage with her girlfriend's endless reel drama and gossip just at that moment. The bus swung around a corner and pulled out onto the bridge between the main city centre and the outskirts, and Jennie relaxed further into her seat now that things were moving again. Two flashing lights out of her peripheral made her glimpse out the window, wiping at the condensation fog that that settled in a thin layer over the glass despite the bus not being full, and she frowned when one large SUV whizzed past the bus, the blue and red siren lights mounted onto the roof, casting coloured glares across the body of the bus as it flew past. Figuring it was the police chasing a suspect in an covert vehicle, Jennie didn't dwell on it. Feeling a hot sensation on the back of her neck she turned round, eyes landing on the guy sitting a couple rows behind her, who didn't move his own gaze from hers, much to her intrigue. Turning away she picked up her phone to fidget, a sudden desire to busy herself taking control as she replied to Chaeyoung's message, tapping out a quick response before letting the device fall into her lap once she was bored with it. Her stomach growled. The bus drove out onto the bridge. A vociferous crash from behind made Jennie lurch forward, and as it came a second time, the driver lost control of the vehicle completely and it spiralled round and round, wheels screeching on the tarmac as it spun towards the metal guardrails with great speed. The bus slammed into the metal, and the impact was so severe that the glass from all windows shattered inward, sending shards raining down on top of Jennie with razor sharp precision. Some of the fallen glass sliced into her face and hands, and with a violent jerk, Jennie was thrown from her seat, falling with a sickening crunch into the side of the row of seats opposite her, clocking her head against the framework with enough force to cause a nosebleed. Dazed she slid to the ground, her ears ringing as she tried to steady herself enough to get to her feet. Her temple began to swell, and she felt nauseas. A third crash sent her flying a second time, and once she made a not so graceful landing she lay there unmoving, body broken as the bus upturned onto his side before eventually grinding to a halt in the middle of the road. Jennie lifted her head and stared around at the damage in front of her. Her phone and school bag were nowhere to be seen. Car horns blared from somewhere outside, followed by loud shrieks and screams. Her nose ached, and dabbing at it she noticed that the blood had dried around the rim of her nostril and the area on her cheek where the blood had spattered. Her head throbbed, and for a long minute she had no idea where she had been before the accident occurred.   
"Hey".  
Jennie turned towards the source of the sound, blinking dust and debris out of her blurred vision, forcing her eyes to focus on the unshapely silhouette lying two feet away from her, seemingly unscathed. It was the guy who had been staring at her moments before the bus had crashed. He had kind eyes, dark deep brown orbs, and Jennie felt a strange sense of security when she looked at him. His hair was ash brown, and blinking twice, Jennie noticed that his hoodie had large gashes ripped into it. He extended an injured hand towards her, and hesitant, Jennie refused to take it, slowly shaking her head at him in leiu of a response. She couldn't speak. Silence descended on them, save for the squeal of sirens in the distance.   
"Hey".  
Jennie didn't look at him. She was frozen in place, limbs paralysed as a terrifying wave of panic seized her in an iron grip. The smell of burning oil made her stomach turn. She rubbed at her irritated eyes, but the abrasive movement only caused the inflammation to get worse.   
"Let me help you".  
"Stop talking to me".  
"If you let me help, we'll be off this bus in no time".  
"I'd rather wait for the ambulance".  
"We don't know how long they'll be".  
Jennie winced as the swelling on her head pulsed with a savage pain every time she moved. She felt sleepy, and her eyes drooped lower and lower with every minute that passed with agonising slowness.  
She snapped her eyes open when she felt someone shaking her gently. She flinched when she came face to face with a chiselled jawline and dark irises.  
"Don't fall asleep".   
Jennie scoffed. "I wasn't going to".  
Shuffling along the broken glass, he pulled the sleeves of his hoodie down to reveal two golden forearms, and Jennie flushed at the sight. Hoisting himself up onto the thin framework of the seats, he balanced himself directly in front of the sunroof, which had already been damaged in the crash, and Jennie remarked at his incredible agility and resolve in the face of adversity. Although suspicious of his motives, she found herself drawn to him with an overpowering sense of intrigue. A tense quiet ensued as Jennie watched her companion lash out with a series of hard kicks to knock the remaining glass out of the frame, letting the loose shards tumble into the space between them for good measure. From outside the square Jennie could make out the paramedics and the police, and desperate to escape she tried to clamber out to freedom, only to have a vicious pain shoot up into her gut, halting her in her tracks. Her companion climbed out onto the street with ease. He turned to face her.   
"Need some help?"  
Jennie nodded. "Can you get the medics please?”.


	4. Reap & Sow

Jennie flinched at the sharp discomfort that tore through her skull as the paramedic tightened the bandage around her wound to prevent it from slipping off. She yawned, unable to shake the wave of exhaustion that washed over her at regular intervals. The back of the ambulance reeked of disinfectant. Her companion strode towards her, holding his side with a bandaged hand as he moved.   
"I found this", he said, handing her a small device. It took Jennie a minute to realise that it was in fact her own mobile. The screen was badly cracked, but by some miracle it still functioned as it should do, and she noticed that she had several missed calls from both Zoe and Chaeyoung.   
"Thanks" she said, not looking up at the man in front of her. He leaned against the door of the ambulance, legs crossed at the ankles.   
"What's your name?" he asked.  
"Jennie".  
"Ok, so the damage can't be that bad then?"  
"What?"  
"Your head".  
"I'm fine".  
"If you say so".  
"What's your name?".  
The stranger indicated towards the phone in her hands. "It's in there".  
"What?".  
"It's in your phone?"  
"Why can't you just tell me?".  
His eyes sparkled at her question. "What would be the fun in that?".  
Jennie balked, and he chuckled under his breath.   
"What gave you the right to go through my phone..",  
"I didn't go through it".  
"You did".  
"I didn't".  
Jennie glared at him. "Clearly you did, if you were able to put your name and number in my contact list".  
Her frustration grew when she saw his lips tremble in an attempt to stifle a laugh. He grinned.   
"I can't take you seriously with that bandage on your head".  
"Fuck off".  
At that moment, the paramedic came round the side of the ambulance and helped Jennie to her feet.   
"How're you feeling?".  
"Tired".  
"Ok, so we've decided to take you in for an extra checkup, because that bump looks to be more serious than we think, and it may require an MRI".  
Jennie swallowed another yawn. Her stomach growled.   
"Ok".  
Climbing back into the ambulance, Jennie cast a glance over her shoulder to where her companion once stood, and despite her frustrations, she couldn't help but feel disappointed that he was no longer standing where he had been, leaving her addled and with more questions than she thought he'd even be able to answer. 

"Can you lie down for me please?".  
Jennie hoisted herself up onto the freshly made hospital bed and sank into the pillows. Her body ached in lots of different places, but her head had taken the brunt of the crash, and the headache that had settled permanently behind her eyes at that moment seemed to strain against her bandages. Her torso clenched in a series of spasms, but whether it was due to hunger or nausea was undecipherable. Jennie didn't feel the nip of the needle as the nurse inserted it into her arm to take blood samples. Absent from her surroundings she was unaware of the nurse dosing her up with morphine aswell, and instantly slipped into an undisturbed slumber once the drugs kicked in.   
Startling awake, Jennie stared around the room in a panic, temporarily forgetting where she was. Chaeyoung snoozed soundly in a chair next to her bed, and slowly Jennie dragged her sore body into an upright position, not wanting wake her sleeping girlfriend. Her face throbbed, and stifling a groan, she reached towards the bottle of medication on her night stand, only to misjudge the distance and send the bottle of pills clattering to the floor. Chaeyoung wake abruptly, and when she saw that Jennie was conscious, she ran to her side.   
"Oh my god, Jen, are you ok?".  
"Yeah, Chae, I'm fine".  
Chaeyoung drank in Jennie's shabby appearance, and her brows knitted together in a deep frown when she took in the bandage and the glassy look in Jennie's eyes.   
"The nurse didn't wrap that properly".  
Jennie scowled. "What do you mean?".  
"She didn't secure it in the right place".  
"It's fine, Chae".  
Chaeyoung wasn't convinced.   
"My dad's a doctor, so I know what a properly wrapped bandage looks like, and it's not that".  
Jennie didn't have the energy to respond.   
"I dropped my pills", she said, in an attempt to change the subject. Chaeyoung got to her knees without any hesitation, crawling underneath the bed to retrieve Jennie's medication.   
"These should have been more easily accessible to you", she griped, tapping out two blue pills into her palm and handing them to Jennie, along with a glass of water. Jennie swallowed them without question, desperate to alleviate the pressure in her head as best she could. She swung her legs over the side of the bed to stretch them out. Sliding her phone out of her pocket she dialled Zoe's number, her thumb moving across the screen in a delayed motion as she tried to focus on the task with extreme concentration.   
"Hello?" Zoe answered on the first ring.   
Jennie relayed the situation to her social worker with accurate recall. Zoe’s voice on the other line began to grate on Jennie’s wars the longer the conversation went on, and with a frustrated response she hung up. Chaeyoung was at her side.   
“Lie down Jen”.  
“I’m fine”.  
“You need to rest”.   
“I’ll be fine, Chae”.  
Chaeyoung pouted, letting her hands fall to her sides in the wake of Jennie’s rejection. Jennie touched her head with tentative fingers, wincing when she felt the obnoxious protrusion beneath the bandage. A nurse entered the room at that moment and explained the results of Jennie’s blood work and MRI with vigor. Jennie found it hard to focus on what she was saying. Chaeyoung listened with all attention on the nurse who was talking, taking the clipboard from her hands when the nurse went to attend to a different patient.   
“It’s not that bad Jen”, she said.   
“I know”.  
“It was just a minor concussion”.   
“I know”.   
“All you have to do is rest up for a few days and take some strong painkillers”.  
Jennie held back a biting comment.   
“I know”.   
Jennie got to her feet, and immediately the room spun. She staggered back and grabbed hold of the bed to steady herself. The objects in the room swam messily in her peripheral, and a wave of nausea slammed into her gut. Chaeyoung rushed to her aid, throwing one of Jennie’s arms over her shoulders as they walked slowly out into the hallway and towards the bathroom. 

On the way back, they found themselves in an unfamiliar corridor, and Jennie felt Chaeyoung stiffen next to her.   
“I think we got lost”.  
“What do you mean?”.  
“I took a wrong turn I think”.  
Jennie sighed laboriously. Even the simple act of physical exertion made her neck ache and her head hang heavy. She swallowed the rush of vomit that sprang up into her throat as an unshakeable bout of dizziness grabbed hold of her in an iron vice. Letting Chaeyoung swing her round the corner, Jennie began to recognise the corridor by the smell. It was where Jisoo had a room, and breaking out of Chaeyoung’s hold she wobbled towards, what she remembered to be, Jisoo’s bedroom. Standing in the doorway, Jennie balked when she caught side of a vacant bed, with bedding neatly folded at the end of the mattress and the curtain drawn all the way back. The area had been cleaned and was void of any hospital equipment. Jennie’s voice died in her throat. She frowned. Blinked twice, in case it was just a figment of her imagination, but it wasn’t. Jisoo wasn’t there. Whirling round, Jennie spotted a nurse come out from the room, and jumped in front of her.  
“Hi, I’m looking for a Ms Jisoo Kim?”  
The nurse placed a comforting hand on Jennie’s upper arm, expression full of remorse.   
“She passed away last night”.  
That’s when Jennie’s legs went from underneath her and she slumped to the ground, mind refusing to process that Jisoo had in fact died and the guilt that arose from Jennie’s absence when it occurred. Chaeyoung crouched in front of her, with an indecipherable expression masking her pretty face. Jennie let two hot tears slide down her cheeks. Her head throbbed at the sudden onslaught of emotion.   
“She’s dead”, Jennie gasped out. The words felt unusual coming out of her mouth. She tucked her knees up to her chest as the tears began to flow.   
“I’m sorry Jen”.  
Jennie sniffed loudly, keeping her eyes trained on the ground. The smell of food and sanitised vinyl made her stomach churn. That, and the weight of her loss.   
“It was bound to happen, Jen”, Chaeyoung continued, rubbing Jennie’s knee with soft strokes.   
“What’s that supposed to mean?”.  
“She was sick for a long time”.  
“But I should have been there for her”, Jennie cried. “More than I was”.  
“It was out of your control”.   
“You don’t get it, Chae”, Jennie replied, choking on the lump that had now formed in her throat.   
“I should have been there”.   
Chaeyoung got her feet, sighing exasperatedly.   
“Whatever Jen”, she muttered, and Jennie could hesr the vehement hostility in her voice.   
“You should go Chae”, Jennie said after a while.   
Scoffing, Chaeyoung reached down to help Jennie to her feet.   
“I just wish you didn’t care so much”.  
“Of course I care”.  
“Yeah yeah I get it”.  
“What’s your problem?”, Jennie quipped.  
Chaeyoung let Jennie fall against the bed once they made it back to her room without any more mishaps. She avoided Jennie’s gaze as she gathered her things and headed to the door, shifting from foot to foot as she glanced over at Jennie one last time.. Jennie crossed her arms, waiting for a response.  
“It’s nothing Jen”.  
“You sure?  
“Yeah”.  
Then Chaeyoung was gone, vanishing down the hallway without another word, the miasma of her absence filling Jennie with a fleeting sense of loneliness as she fell into a broken sleep.


	5. Break the Limit

"I don't think going back to school so soon is a good idea", Zoe quipped from the other end of the line. Jennie rolled her eyes.  
"I have to go to class".  
"Your teachers will understand if you miss a week or two, Jennie".  
Jennie groaned inwardly when the school building came into view. She yawned, wincing when a sharp spike of pain shot up into her head. She hadn't slept in two days, and the exhaustion was catching up to her faster than she anticipated. Zoe rambled in her ear, but Jennie wasn't listening.  
"Yeah I'll see you tomorrow", she mumbled before hanging up and tossing her phone into her school blazer, putting the conversation out of her mind as she approached the bike sheds and the rows of outdoor lockers, the desire to have a cigarette before class causing her lungs to cry out for the next hit. She spotted her own group of friends chilling by the bike racks and lighting up a crumpled cigarette she rambled towards them, inhaling deeply on the fag. Her friend, Jiyong cheered when she poked her head into the crowd, draping an arm across her shoulders and hugging her into his side in an amicable fashion. Jennie grinned, pushing him away playfully when he planted a sloppy kiss on the corner of her lips. Chaeyoung was sitting down on one of the benches, engaging in small talk with two other girls from their class. Jennie tried to make eye contact but it was to no avail.  
"So tell us all the heroic story of how you survived the bus crash on the Baygrove bridge", Jiyong said, dragging Jennie into the centre of the crowd, putting her in the limelight. She cursed Jiyong with a flash of a middle finger in his direction.  
"There was nothing heroic about it", she replied. Jiyong and his friends chortled and whistled loudly at her response, and Jennie laughed at their antics. The bell cut through the intercom at that moment and with several disgruntled moans from the students, they mooched off into the building. Jennie hung back to finish her cigarette. Chaeyoung remained on the bench with arms crossed over her ample chest, and preparing herself mentally for a difficult conversation, Jennie sat down next to her, staring off out into the middle of the yard in order to avoid eye contact.  
"I feel like we should talk about what happened in the hospital yesterday?", Jennie said, exhaling on her cigarette.  
Chaeyoung scoffed. "Why would we talk about that".  
"Because you were pressed about something or other".  
"I wasn't pressed", Chaeyoung snapped, spitting the words out like venom. "Just disappointed".  
"What disappointed you?".  
"The whole Jisoo thing, Jen", Chaeyoung replied. "How sad it made you, how desperate you were to find out where Jisoo was.. the list goes on".  
Jennie stared at her girlfriend, wide eyed. Unable to mask the shock that caused her frown to deepen; she cleared her throat before replying, ensuring she chose her words carefully, given that this was a sensitive topic for Chaeyoung.  
"Of course it made me sad, Chae, she fucking died!".  
"I know, but you're with me now, and I specifically asked you to not talk about her when I'm around..".  
"Are you serious right now?".  
"Yeah, I am Jen".  
"She was a big part of my life, I can't just turn that off".  
"You didn't have to make such a big deal out of it, Jennie".  
"What?".  
"You literally stood in the door and badgered a nurse about it, like it was obvious she died, Jen. Do you not watch any movies?".  
Silence fell between them. Chaeyoung faced Jennie, and the hurt she felt was written all over her face.  
"I was upset because you didn't just leave it at the door, you had to go and sob your eyes out right in front of me".  
"That's a normal response to someone dying, Chaeyoung".  
"Yeah, but you know how I feel about your relationship with her, and I just thought we were on the same page in terms of.."  
"In terms of what?".  
"In terms of you just moving on with your life and forgetting about Jisoo once and for all".  
"Well, she's dead now, so you don't need to worry".  
Jennie flicked the butt of her cigarette onto the ground and stood up, swinging her bag over her shoulder before marching back into the school, swiftly ending the conversation with Chaeyoung before she said something she knew she'd regret.  
"You always do this", Chaeyoung called out as Jennie vanished into the building, darting down the hallway towards her next class, tears lodged in the corners of her eyes as a wave of frustration and hurt threatened to erupt from the depths of her gut.

Jennie followed Jiyong out of the school building with a heavy feeling in her chest, and a pulsating headache. She was exhausted. Could barely take notes in her final class because all she wanted to do was sleep on her open textbook instead. Jiyong draped a weighty arm around her shoulders, and Jennie didn't have the energy to shrug him off. She dug in her bag for her crumpled pack of cigarettes .  
"Hey you coming to Taeyang's house party this weekend?"  
"Ah no, I don't think so".  
Jiyong struggled to hide his disappointment.  
"That's a shame".  
"Yeah, parties aren't really my thing".  
"Fair, I guess".  
Jennie ducked out from underneath his appendage, lighting the end of her creased smoke as she skipped away from him and towards the school gates without a second glance. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she whipped it out, thinking it was Zoe looking to find out how her first day back at school went since the accident. Instead it was an unknown number, and Jennie frowned, stopping in the middle of the street to read it. The name above the message read : Taehyung.

Jennie jumped on the train that was headed north, narrowly avoiding the hydraulic sliding doors as she stumbled onto the crowded carriage, unable to stifle a high grin that broke her lips at the corners. Her journey was fleeting, and when the train pulled up near the beach she climbed off and hurtled down towards the silhouetted figure that stood down near the waters edge. Jennie ran towards him with exhilaration, as if he was her long lost lover out of a film. He turned round when he clocked her arrival, and they wandered down the dark strip, ensconced in a conversation that felt so strange yet natural to Jennie at the same time. She had this banter with Jiyong but with Taehyung it was different somehow. They dropped down into the sand and Jennie tucked her skirt underneath her for comfort. The sound of the sea crashing in her ears made her forget about Chaeyoung and all her other responsibilities for a brief moment. She could taste salt on her tongue.  
“So, I wanted to ask you something?”.  
Jennie faced Taehyung. “What is it?”  
“Do you have the list in your possession?”.  
Jennie stared at him, unblinking. All of a sudden her surroundings vanished into the peripheral. Feigning ignorance she shrugged her shoulders in lieu of an answer.  
“What list?”.  
“The one with your name on it”.  
Jennie pulled out another cigarette.  
“Why would I have something like that?”.  
“Because I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t”.  
Jennie choked on her inhale, the smoke burning her throat as she let out two ragged coughs. Taehyung chuckled beside her. Composing herself quickly, Jennie chose her next few words carefully. “What’s so special about that list, anyway?”.  
“Lots of people want it”.  
“Lots of people, like who?”.  
“Dangerous ones?”.  
“So what does that make you?”.  
Jennie exchanged a daring glance with him beneath the clear sky, and the sudden spark of an unspoken understanding between them made a halo of warmth settle in her lower abdomen. His onyx curls splayed out beneath his dark hood, and his jeans were scuffed at the knees and down the leg where the ankle met his boots. The laces were undone. The smoke from her cigarette curled into the night, the grey curlicues hypnotising her as the universe held them in its hands, suspending the ash in the frozen atmosphere like a trophy.  
“Someone you can trust”.  
Jennie scoffed. “I don’t trust anyone”.  
She could feel Taehyung’s eyes on her instantly. Silence ensued, but he didn’t pry.  
“I just want to let you know that I don’t have the list anymore”.  
“What?”. Taehyung shifted his position in the sand.  
“I flushed it down the toilet”.  
“Why?”. His voice was hard.  
Jennie stubbed her cigarette into the mound of sand that had gathered between her ankles. Tucking her hair behind her ear she fixed a narrowed gaze on Taehyung, flushing when her eyes landed on his plump lips and sharp jawline. She swallowed. The jovial nature behind this encounter was long gone.  
“Because it had a weird vibe about it”.  
Taehyung scrubbed a hand down his face as he contemplated a response. Jennie cut in.  
“I thought someone was out to get me”.  
“They will be now”.  
“Don’t scare me”.  
“It’s not me you need to worry about”.


	6. Pathos

Jennie's eyes remained glued to Zoe's coffee cup, the stark contrast of the red lipstick stains clashing horribly with the pale beige hue of the shop brand on the side of the cup. She braced her scuffed shoe against the stout leg of the coffee table, picking furiously at her blunt nails as she wrestled with the topic of conversation in her head. The medical tape holding her bandage in place made her skin itch. The clock ticked steadily above Zoe’s head.  
“Where would you like to begin, Jennie?”  
Jennie opened her mouth to speak, but the words died in her throat. She ached for a cigarette. Zoe switched her legs into a crossed position and Jennie’s gaze landed on the movement, stuck in a trance.  
“Jennie, we really must begin” Zoe pushed.  
“Jisoo”  
“Who?”  
Jennie’s injury pulsed against her skull.  
“She was a girl I dated for a year or two until she suffered a stroke and sustained acute brain damage as a result. She died in hospital last night”. The words tumbled off her tongue in one jumbled verbal mess. Zoe stared at her, pen tapping tunelessly against her clipboard.  
“And how did her death make you feel?”.  
Jennie frowned. “How do you think?”  
Zoe paused. “Ok. Let’s rephrase that”.  
Jennie shifted in her seat. “No, it’s fine”.  
“Is it?”  
“No, but what can I do about it? I really liked Jisoo, and when she got sick she blamed me for it, because the relationship was toxic towards the end and she often told me that the stress of it is what brought on her stroke when it wasn’t...” Jennie trailed off.  
“I see”.  
“I don’t know what to say”.  
“You don’t have to say anything, Jennie”.  
Jennie chewed her bottom lip. “I think I have trouble sustaining relationships”.  
“Why do you say that?”.  
“Cause of my mom”.  
“Do you remember your mom?”.  
“Kind of”.  
Zoe made a note of that. Jennie wracked her brains for any recollection she had of her shitty upbringing but she came up short, save for the odd flashback every now and then. A broken image of her as a toddler crouching down by her mothers lifeless body cut through her mind and she visibly winced at the painful thought. She picked at her nails once again, feeling the skin break the harder she fidgeted.  
“Do you want to tell me what you just envisaged there?” Zoe asked.  
“My mom”.  
“What about her?”  
“I don’t know”, Jennie shrugged. The pang of sweat assaulted her nostrils. “It was just a broken memory. Of her, lying passed out on the ground from another heavy dose of drinking”. Silence ensued. Zoe didn’t speak. “I don’t think she ever cared about me if I’m honest. And I also think that she’d have chosen drugs and alcohol over me anyday”.  
Zoe nodded as she made note, the corner of her heel gently kissing the carpet as she crossed her legs, and Jennie found her gaze glued to it.  
“Do you blame yourself for Jisoo’s illness?” Zoe asked.  
“I did in the beginning”.  
“It wasn’t your fault, Jennie”.  
“I know that now”.  
Zoe flipped the sheet over on her clipboard.  
“Let’s go back to the night the social services rescued you from your flat?”.  
“I don’t remember”.  
“Try”.  
Irritation flared up inside Jennie’s gut. She glanced up and noticed that Zoe was staring back at her imploringly, pen poised carefully over the paper, dare she miss even the smallest fragment of information.  
“My mom was drunk”, Jennie began, “On what, I don’t know”.  
“You were too young to remember?”  
Jennie nodded. Zoe wrote. The clock ticked on the wall above Zoe’s desk. Jennie’s phone buzzed in the pocket of her blazer. Zoe cleared her throat.  
“Now that you are eighteen, is there a part of you that understands why your mother did what she did?”.  
“No”.  
“Not even a little bit?”.  
Jennie shifted in her seat, growing increasingly irritated with Zoe and all her silly questions.  
“I can’t understand how, as a mother, you would abandon your own child in that way and choose your addiction over them no matter what”, Jennie snapped. Once she started she couldn’t stop, the words poured out of her like vomit.  
“I hate her. I hate her and what she put me through. All the men she used to have back at the apartment, ones that would leer at me when she was around and then touch me when she wasn’t. And I didn’t complain, because I knew my mother would suffer if I did, and god, how I fucking resented her for it. Her fucking addiction and lack of support ruined me, it ruined my fucking life as I knew it and now I have nobody”. The last few words came out in an angry rasp and her throat stung as she swallowed a wave of bile that leaped into her mouth as the emotional upset caused her gut to churn painfully. Her cheeks were slick with tears, and her hands trembled in her lap.  
“And Jisoo” Jennie sniffled loudly, the tears hot on her skin, searing into it like a warm knife through butter. The invariable pain she felt in her heart had the poignancy of an actual stab.  
“What about Jisoo?” Zoe asked, sitting up in her seat, pen at the ready.  
Jennie hesitated. The anger flooded her and without thinking she pulled at a hangnail, ripping it off in a rushed manouvre. She winced, immediately putting her injured appendage in her mouth, the taste of copper coating her tastebuds. Zoe looked on, alarmed.  
“Do you want a plaster?”  
“No, it’s fine”  
Zoe frowned. “You’re not self harming again, are you?”  
Jennie dropped her hand into her lap. “No, I’m just ..”  
“Anxious?”  
“Yeah”.  
Zoe sniffed. “Shall we continue?”  
“Jisoo was just the icing on the fucking cake”.  
Zoe made note.  
“And yesterday in the hospital..”, Jennie could feel the next wave of sadness heave at her chest. She said nothing. Zoe lifted the sheet on her clipboard, scanning the notes made since the hour session began, and Jennie knew she was trying to make sense of what was discussed so that she could pass it on to the higher up’s in the Social Services.  
Jennie wiped her eyes, feeling them burn. The wound in her head throbbed and she could feel her eyes drooping the longer she sat in the stuffy office. Zoe got up and placed her clipboard on the desk.  
“How are you feeling now?”.  
“Tired”.  
“Do you have your medication?”  
Jennie nodded, pulling the bottle of pills out of her school bag.  
“Take them now before you go”.  
Taking the glass of water from Zoe’s hand, Jennie downed the pills without hesitation. God, she was hungry.  
“I’ll see you next week, okay, Jennie”.  
Jennie left the room, tossing a careless thanks over her shoulder as she went. Her head was cloudy, and once she hit cold air and the ice of the oncoming winter enveloped her thin frame in a hug, she knew lighting up a much needed cigarette would help to get her thoughts in order. 

The distant cries and cheers coming from the school hockey pitches, followed by the crack of the ball against metal was enough to send Jennie crashing back down to earth after her difficult and confusing session with Zoe. Pulling her blazer tighter around her body she skirted across the carpark and onto the school grounds. Frozen, her fingers felt rigid around her quickly extinguishing smoke. The floodlights illuminated the crowded astroturf pitches and Jennie didn’t have to search for long before Chaeyoung’s unmistakable blonde plait came dancing towards her, her shrill voice shouting commands at her idle teammates, hockey stick held aloft. Jennie’s eyes fell to the tight fitting sports uniform that her girlfriend donned, eyes lingering on the hem of the short orange skirt and Chaeyoung’s toned legs. Pressing herself against the thin iron fence, Jennie lit another cigarette, inhaling slowly as she observed the game. Turning, Chaeyoung clocked Jennie on the sidelines and her flushed face fell at the sight. Her fists clenched around the shaft of her stick. The manager blew the whistle and called the team to the sidelines, and Chaeyoung took that opportunity to approach Jennie, an undecipherable expression masking her visage.  
“What are you doing here?”.  
“Why you so mad?”  
“I’m not mad..”, Chaeyoung muttered.  
“Right, right”, Jennie flicked the butt of her cigarette to the ground. “Just disappointed”.  
Chaeyoung rolled her eyes.  
Jennie couldn’t help the smirk that lifted the corner of her mouth.  
“You got so pressed with me over nothing, and then you wonder why I don’t stick around to talk”.  
“You’ve always done that”, Chaeyoung replied. “Just avoided any conversation about anything to do with me and how I feel”.  
“It’s not always about you though”.  
Chaeyoung turned back towards the pitches, the wooden curve of her stick scuffing the turf as she shifted from one foot to the other. Jennie gripped the fence, not wanting the conversation to end just there.  
“What do you want from me?”.  
“Your fucking attention”, Chaeyoung snapped, and Jennie winced when she heard the waver in her tone. When a silence descended on them in lieu of a response from Jennie, Chaeyoung grabbed her hockey stick, turned and jogged back towards the pitch, launching herself into the game with fervour. Swallowing her tears, Jennie left the school grounds and hopped on the next bus into town, sending Chaeyoung a quick message before plugging in her earphones and making her way into the slowly dying hub of the city, keen for something a bit stronger to cleanse her emotional palette. 

“ID?”  
Jennie slid a small chipped card towards the cashier, fishing in her pockets for the crumpled €20 note Zoe had lent her at the end of their session that day. Use it for groceries, Zoe had warned. Yeah right, Jennie scoffed, handing the bill over without question. Taking a swig as she left the shop, she wandered around the streets, refusing to head home as the night air dropped a few degrees in temperature. Crouching in the only shop entrance that wasn’t already occupied, she pulled out her smokes and lit up, the weight of the fumes filling her chest cavity instilling a powerful wave of relief and safety inside her that she had been deprived of for most of her life.  
“Got a smoke?”  
Jennie glanced up to see a homeless man in front of her, fingerless gloved hand outstretched, itching for a hit of his own. Jennie handed him the packet, and without warning he took off, sprinting down the vacant street and across the road, too quick for Jennie to give chase. Finishing what was left of her own cigarette, she took off in the direction of her bus stop, taking a sharp gulp of the whiskey from the bottle in her hand, swallowing the contents without flinching. Her stomach cramped as the alcohol splashed into her empty gut. Fuck, she was just as bad as her mother. Her shitty, lowlife of a mother, who had done nothing for Jennie but abandon her when she needed her most. Jennie shook the memory from her addled brain, growing increasingly frustrated the longer she had to queue to embark on the bus. By the time her turn came she was tipsy, and as she dropped the coins into the meter, her phone rang.  
“Hello?”.  
“Hey”.  
Jennie froze. It was Chaeyoung.  
“My mom is out. Why don’t you come over and we can talk?”.  
“Sure”.  
Jennie got off the bus and hailed the first taxi she saw, grateful for the warmth the car provided, and she had to fight to prevent her teeth from chattering as she relayed her destination to the driver, keen to reach Chaeyoung as soon as possible. 

Chaeyoung answered the door on the first ring, and Jennie entered the premises on cold legs, dumping her school bag at the door before following Chaeyoung upstairs and into her bedroom.  
“You look like shit” Chaeyoung said, curling up on her neatly made divan. “Thanks”.  
Jennie sniffled, the chill getting to her fast. She noticed that Chaeyoung had taken her hair out and now it cascaded around her face and shoulders in thick beautiful waves. Jennie hadn’t seen a shower in a week.  
“How’s your head?”  
Jennie felt at the bandage. “It‘s a little better today, yeah”.  
“That’s good”.  
Silence.  
Resenting the awkwardness, Jennie dropped into the desk chair and swung around on its axis, grinning in an attempt to lighten the mood. Chaeyoung’s textbooks lay atop the surface of the table, pens and other stationery protruding from the pages in a strange assortment of organised disarray.  
“I was so worried about you after I heard about the bus accident, Jen”, Chaeyoung muttered. “I thought you had died”.  
“I thought I was going to die too”.  
“God, it must have been so awful”.  
“Yeah, but I’m glad the universe was on my side”.  
Chaeyoung shifted. “I know that I haven’t been making life easy for you”.  
“You think?”  
“I just really like you, and I want you to be in this with me one hundred percent, same as I am”.  
“Yeah, I’m trying Chae”.  
Chaeyoung sighed. “You’re always just “trying”, Jen”.  
“What else can I do?”  
“Act like you want me in your life”.  
Jennie whirled round to face the woman in front of her, irritation flaring up in her gut at the sight of Chaeyoung sitting staring up at her like a lost puppy, begging to be loved.  
“I said that I was trying, okay”.  
“Trying what?”  
“To be the person you want me to be for you”, Jennie snapped. “But it’s not that easy for me to give to somebody else when I’m so used to being on my own and looking out for number one all the time”.  
Chaeyoung mewled, and the thought of slapping her clean across the face flashed through Jennie’s mind.  
“That sounds like a sad life, Jen”.  
“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?”, Jennie countered, her jaw slacking as she struggled to get the rest of the words out. She yawned, suddenly sleepy.  
Chaeyoung dragged her up from the chair and over to the bed, letting Jennie fall on the divan with a cushioned thump. Jennie sat up and fixed Chaeyoung with a sombre expression.  
“Make it okay, Chae” she mumbled, rubbing at her bandage with rough movements, but it wasn’t the external wound she was referring to.  
“Don’t”, Chaeyoung cried, taking Jennie’s hands in hers, staring at the bandage with a frown, working the corner of her mouth as she gently unwrapped the injury and assessed it.  
“How is it?”, Jennie asked.  
“It’s healing”.  
“Good”.  
“I can try clean it for you if you want?”.  
“No”.  
“But it’ll..”  
Jennie crashed her lips into Chaeyoung’s parted ones, kissing her firmly before pulling away to assess the confused expression on her girlfriends face.  
“You taste like whiskey”.  
“Plenty more where that came from”.  
Chaeyoung pushed up onto her knees and began to nip at Jennie’s bottom lip, kissing it playfully as she fiddled with the buttons on Jennie’s school shirt, plunging her sprightly tongue deep into Jennie’s mouth the longer the foreplay ensued. Jennie let Chaeyoung dominate, allowing her clothes to come off without a fight. Her vagina moistened in her panties, and sliding her own hand into Chaeyoung’s pajama shorts, she confirmed her girlfriend felt the same. They altered positions, keeping wet lips on wet lips as the encounter picked up the pace. Jennie grinned when Chaeyoung’s ample breasts came into view, and gently she sucked on them, throwing an eye up at Chaeyoung’s glowing visage once they became erect. Crawling down the bed, Jennie removed Chaeyoung’s shorts and boxer panties, discarding both items to the floor before pushing her girlfriend’s legs to the side. Chaeyoung’s vagina glistened with a delicious sheen, her pubes shiny with moisture, clit just about visible from beneath her labia. Tucking her hair back, Jennie licked at the wetness, devouring every drop as Chaeyoung writhed above her. Jennie sucked gently on the clitoris, sliding her fingers inside Chaeyoung’s entrance in order to enhance further stimulation. Unaware of the time, Jennie thrust her fingers deeper inside the entrance, feeling for the G-spot. Chaeyoung moaned loudly from the head of the bed, and digging her toes into the mattress, she bucked just as a warm clear fluid spurted our onto the bedsheet, soaking the fabric and Jennie’s fingers for good measure. Exhausted, Chaeyoung curled up on the divan, body moist with a supple after sex glow. Jennie clambered up onto the bed and kissed Chaeyoung on the face, before moving down to her lips, adamant to make her taste herself, keen to prolong the intimacy even if it was only for a few seconds. Cuddled close, Jennie fell into a broken sleep on the crush of pillows beneath her head, mind riddled with abrasive theories about her childhood and the life she led before the passing of her mother.


	7. Skyjack

The words swam in Jennie’s vision as she tried to focus on the paragraphs in front of her. The harsh white glare of the paper in her notebook gave her a headache. She had been at this studying lark for an hour and had made little progress. Her desk vibrated beneath the bass line of the music blaring from the room next to hers, and it made her task of completing assignments even more challenging, and just as equally frustrating. She swung round on her swivel chair and dove for her phone, tapping the screen to life. There was a message from Chaeyoung, and Jennie clicked it open, keen to take her mind off her school work. The message was met with hostile disappointment. It was a picture of Chaeyoung’s open text book, followed by the caption, “I hope you’re studying :)”. Agitated, Jennie tossed her phone onto her divan and turned to face her dreaded assignment once more, suddenly determined to tackle her notes with a little more enthusiasm. Flicking to the end of the chapter, she began to write.   
A shrill noise from the bed snapped her out of her flow on the third ring. Dropping her pen, Jennie answered the call.   
“Hello?”.  
“Where is it?”  
“Who is this?”  
“Where is the list?”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”.  
The person on the other end hung up.   
Jennie opened her contacts and pressed Taehyung’s number, the time between the call tones agonising.   
“Yeah?”.  
“I just got a call from someone looking for the list”, Jennie garbled, out of breath.   
“Who?”.  
“I don’t know who”, she cried.   
“Ok, I’ll text you an address”, Taehyung said, “meet me there in 20”.

The shower ran cold as the last few dregs spilled out of the jet. Jennie stepped out onto the tile and wrapped a towel around herself, before examining her face in the mirror, wiping at the steam to clear it. A rattle and click to her right made her turn towards the door in time to see one of her housemates, Jungkook, stand in the doorway, grinning at her sheepishly.   
“Don’t you knock?” Jennie snapped.   
“Don’t you lock?”, Jungkook countered.   
Jungkook stepped further into the room, and instinctively Jennie pressed a hand over the top of her towel.   
“Next time you want company, just keep the door wide open, okay?” Jungkook purred, erupting into a loud cackle when he clocked Jennie’s visible discomfort. Jennie stepped round him to the door, and didn’t look back until she returned to the safety of her own bedroom. Her skin crawled as the ghostly flashbacks of Jungkook’s words kissed her bare arms and legs. With time being of the essence, she pulled on leggings and a hoodie and ducked out of the house, managing to stumble over fallen bikes and backpacks as she made her hasty exit. The bus stop was a good walk away from Jennie’s estate. An alley she was familiar with came into view and thinking it would cut her journey in half, time wise, she opted for it, avoiding puddles and more rubbish as she went. She never made it, because a canvas bag was thrown over her head and she was hauled into the air by strong arms, and escorted the rest of the way. Jennie thrashed and screamed, but her cries for help fell on deaf ears. The sound of metal scraping against metal, followed by an engine turning over were the last sounds she heard before her world was thrown into black.


End file.
